What to be for Halloween when you realize you don’t have a costume

The Daily Orange – The Independent Student Newspaper of Syracuse, New York

It’s Oct. 26, or somewhere there about — time, what a concept. Midterms just blew your mind. You’ve only eaten stale fruit loops and waffles for 12 days straight. In a sugar fever, you realize: hot diggity dog, you don’t have a Halloween costume. Luckily, I’m here for you and prepared for a situation like this. And you will owe me a favor. And I will never forget that. But for now, bask in my brilliant creative mind and plagiarize my costume ideas please.
A Cat/A Bunny
Show your friends that you know how to think creatively: buy some ears at your local party store, draw on some whiskers, and then bark because you don’t know who you are anymore.
What you’ll need: fake ears, face-paint, and a collar so you can be picked out of a crowd.
A Sea Urchin 
Because you want to be unique, yet not let anyone tell you how unique you are: they just know because they can’t get within a 4-foot radius of you.
What you’ll need: PVC Pipe, needles, a dope playlist to listen to in the corner.
An Alumnus
Terrify your classmates as the ghost of future futures as you advise them of the financial benefits of couponing. And did you know that washing your hair in the sink can save pennies off your water bill?
What you’ll need: Graduation cap and gown, a forced smile and a pang of fear in your heart.
Just dress like Bob Dylan, only every time someone asks who you are, remind them that you are “NOBEL PRIZE WINNER Bob Dylan.” You won a Nobel Prize. And you are Bob Dylan. That is all there is, and all there ever will be.
What you’ll need: Black suit coat, white collared shirt, a Nobel …

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